IM AFRAID TO LOOSE I just realised that Im afraid to loose what I have rigth now - freedom - good wind and my SUPER FAMILY - wow thats strange... Like I dont dare to allow myself to be really happy with the situation...
¶ 12:32 PM
Don't worry Morten. It's a very healthy feeling. Especially when you feel that you have most things going for you in life - it makes you more humble toward life - since nothing in this world can and should be taken for granted. Believe me, I feel very similar right now...
You can lose it all in a second. I am scared shitless everyday, but it keeps me going. I like having stuff to hold on to. The things I fear losing every morning and every evening, are the only things i truly appreciate - I think. It's hard to figure out, and come to think of it, I think it is the contemplation and thinking about it that is killing us.
Also, when articulating my worries. When sharing my fear of losing everything with people, I feel like one big fat cliché.
You don't wan't to be a cliché, do you? All we can do is suck it up, be big boys and use our fears and worries as fuel. Fuel to burn so that we can move faster and harder and go further.
Wow - thats the best coment Ive ever had on my blog.
Using the fear and worries as fuel - that has never been on my mind before - but I think thats excatly what I do. And this weekend it was even close to - make me loose every thing. I had so much fear and so many worries in my head (since I hate to borther other people with my weird (and narrow) problems) - that I exploded in a truly scary and agresssive manor - DAMN I GOT NEARLY DANGEROUS - phheeew - lucky me I did not hurt anyone.
I love this life - but the last couple of days have been hard - I was nearly another person for a bit...